Sunday, January 10, 2010

Life shld be shorter

Sometimes I wonder if life shld be shorter...

Empty

I'm realli confused...life is in total mess now...only 1 hr of gaming can relieve my mind temporarily off all the stress. My mum is always nagging me to do this and that, saying that I never grow up...I dont dare to get money from daddy becos he always blame me for spending too much...I have no money...very at wits end...I feel damn terrrible...I cant seem to get things right....I sucks...my morale is going down...down....I am a CHeerful person in front of others...1 that doesn't care abt anything...but in fact alot of things are always going around in my head...buzzing and oozing my nerves...I try to be the source of happiness for those around me but I have forgotten what is true happiness myself..everyone hates me....I guess I am realli a failure in relationship.

why cant 1 understand that I dont express my love through fluffy stuff...those little things that I did everyday are meaningless....I dont like to say openly to other pple what I did for my loved one and everybody start to have the impression that I do not care...but who realli understand me? I may appear to be nonchalant but I realli do think about the gifts and stuff....I am trying very hard already but the gift is not even out...the intended person has lost the patience...I am devastated....am I a loser?